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More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

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Customer (holding up a book): What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it! Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops was a Sunday Times bestseller, and could be found displayed on bookshop counters up and down the country. The response to the book from booksellers all over the world has been one of heartfel Customer (holding up a book): What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it! Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops was a Sunday Times bestseller, and could be found displayed on bookshop counters up and down the country. The response to the book from booksellers all over the world has been one of heartfelt agreement: it would appear that customers are saying bizarre things all over the place - from asking for books with photographs of Jesus in them, to hunting for the best horse owner’s manual that has a detailed chapter on unicorns. Customer: I had such a crush on Captain Hook when I was younger. Do you think this means I have unresolved issues? More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops has yet more tales from the antiquarian bookshop where Jen Campbell works, and includes a selection of ‘Weird Things...’ sent in from other booksellers across the world. The book is illustrated by the BAFTA winning Brothers McLeod.


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Customer (holding up a book): What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it! Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops was a Sunday Times bestseller, and could be found displayed on bookshop counters up and down the country. The response to the book from booksellers all over the world has been one of heartfel Customer (holding up a book): What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it! Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops was a Sunday Times bestseller, and could be found displayed on bookshop counters up and down the country. The response to the book from booksellers all over the world has been one of heartfelt agreement: it would appear that customers are saying bizarre things all over the place - from asking for books with photographs of Jesus in them, to hunting for the best horse owner’s manual that has a detailed chapter on unicorns. Customer: I had such a crush on Captain Hook when I was younger. Do you think this means I have unresolved issues? More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops has yet more tales from the antiquarian bookshop where Jen Campbell works, and includes a selection of ‘Weird Things...’ sent in from other booksellers across the world. The book is illustrated by the BAFTA winning Brothers McLeod.

30 review for More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

  1. 4 out of 5

    Petra X

    Update 6. This is the nastiest 'customer' ever. Since we reopened in Oct. after Irma/Maria until mid-December I was giving away books. I thought it can't all be about money and with no electricity and a curfew, there is nothing to do. This lady, a rasta, I know, who used to read books on algorithms at bedtime (that's not all she did in bed, she has 11 children with her husband) came in and asked about the free books. She probably doesn't have much money for things like books, so I said help your Update 6. This is the nastiest 'customer' ever. Since we reopened in Oct. after Irma/Maria until mid-December I was giving away books. I thought it can't all be about money and with no electricity and a curfew, there is nothing to do. This lady, a rasta, I know, who used to read books on algorithms at bedtime (that's not all she did in bed, she has 11 children with her husband) came in and asked about the free books. She probably doesn't have much money for things like books, so I said help yourself, have as many as you want. She took 16 books. Next day I was behind her to cash in the supermarket. She had a laden trolley, even the shelf underneath was full. She was the next to cash and turned and said to me, "Is that all you have?" I had just a single yoghurt. "Yes," I said, thinking she was going to say, go ahead. But no she pushed her stuff forward so that the cashier would cash her first. I was so pissed off I walked off and gave my yoghurt to my son who joined another queue. He was third in the queue and we still got through before her and her $200+ cart. So Kismet, real name, don't expect any rides from me anymore, let alone discounts or free books. What a miserable human being. __________ 5. An extremely weird customer, perhaps the weirdest ever. He came into the shop and said that he had two books he had never read that his wife had given him and before he put them up for sale on Facebook he wondered if we would give him $10 each for them. I asked when he got them, he said in 2009 or 2010! The titles were The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra and Tantric Sex: Making Love Last. I asked him why he wanted to bring them back now. He said he and his wife had separated and he was clearing out his place. I said I was sorry and hoped it wasn't too traumatic. No, he said, we've just grown apart. Ya think she was trying to tell him something and he just didn't want to know? Idiot man. 4. A customer I got my own back on! This is a regular customer. She is extremely wealthy, despite that she bounces cheques, 'forgets to sign them and all the rest. I will only take cash or a credit card from her now. Anyway, about a month ago she came in asking to borrow a phone to call her husband (who has a trust company across the road, but up the hill) so I loaned her my phone. She went with it accidentally. Within the hour I called her husband who didn't believe me. He never buys books from me because I was upset with him once when he ordered books he decided not to bother picking up and I'd trusted him enough not to get a deposit. I'm not high enough on the social scale for him to bother about. So he phoned her, she confirmed she had the phone in her bag. I asked for it back. He said it was difficult so I said ok, tomorrow morning. Then I texted her on my phone and hers. No answer. I phoned both phones, no answer. Nice of her. I didn't get the phone back for 48 hours. Her husband sent a clerk with it. No one apologised. Yesterday she came in and said there was someone she really didn't want to see at her husband's could she borrow a phone to call. The landline and two cell phones were on the desk. No I said, I haven't got any money on them. She asked my clerk. My clerk said she'd forgotten to top up hers as well. No one said anything about the landline. The customer said do you have Skype. Yes! What's his name, oh I don't have his name, but we can call him. No I said, I only have free Skype. She said I guess I am just going to have to face the music and go up and see him then. I said was there a problem? She said that it was a money issue, her insurance company hadn't paid out for an accident. I think I know what she was talking about. When her vehicle is trapped between two others and she can't get out easily and there is no-one looking, she just goes back and forth hitting both cars until she gets out. But we can see her from the shop window. So the last time, the clerk put an unsigned note on both vehicles saying who was responsible. Now this is a very wealthy lady with several businesses, goes to all the top Government parties and she acts like this. I think the top of the social tree is just where there are less people, not better ones. ___________________________ See ** (2.) The man who pays for but never takes the books. Jojo spent just a few days in the hospital in a coma with high blood pressure before he died. His family dressed him in the most extravagantly coloured clothes they could find to suit his personality, and buried him in what they thought was going to be a small funeral. It was one of the biggest funerals of 2015. Everyone came. Politicians came, the crack addicts who beg for money outside the supermarket came, shopkeepers, restauranteurs and taxi men. Jojo had lived on the streets because he couldn't live in a house. He wasn't poor, he more than paid his way. He would visit all of us, sometimes he was really smelly but never mind about that, he would sit down and converse very loudly, always friendly and always interesting. He was very intelligent and quite well read. In 2014 his eldest sister, Jools, a brilliant baker and one of the funniest people I ever met, who had been my first friend on the island, later an employee and then back to being a friend had died of bone cancer. Jools was short, extremely obese - round really - and had a long stick with a nail stuck in the end of it. She used it for putting up mobiles in the shop (it was a gift shop and boutique back then). More than once someone leaving the store without paying would find the nail hooked at the back of their collar, she had a cheek did Jools. She also on one awful occasion hooked a fabulous looking guy back in. He asked her what she thought she was doing, and she said, 'the boss fancies you and wants to talk to you'. Luckily he was amused.... I was embarrassed beyond belief. Jools and I had been pregnant together, our children grown, and she is not here to see them, neither their uncle Jojo. RIP Jools and Jojo, I loved you both. ______________ 3. The man who wants fast food in the Himalayas Yesterday I had a lovely man in from the "shif" whose English was very strangely accented and who wanted a book on breadmaking but rejected all the ones I had. Most of them involved bread machines and he was adamant it had to be bread for an oven. There was a difficulty in that I could hardly understand his English and he was convinced he spoke it perfectly. Eventually I understood that he was a steward on a cruise ship and that this was his last trip, he had raised money and wanted to open an ersatz MacDonalds in his city in Nepal. He said that there were no real (only pretend ones) in Nepal outside of Katmandu but none in his city. I asked how, as Hindus, he could do beef burgers and he said buffalo. He said, "cow holy, but buffalo good eating". He said that he had to get the buns right, they had to be exactly like MacDonalds buns and none of my bread books had what looked like the right recipe. I hope he finds it, he was a lovely man, small, earnest and had worked away from his family for years and years to save the money for his own buffalo-burger Macdonalds. (For pic see this one in Nepal.) **2. The Man who pays for but never takes the books. He's a street man and walks with a staff in hand. He lives in holes in walls, sleeps in mangroves, collects garbage that appears in bags all over the place, and every now and again comes into the bookshop to buy books. He's loud (very, shouts), intelligent, smelly and got plenty of money, but is quite mad. I know his family very well, they are all quite normal and do their best to look after Joseph by banking the money from the rents of the two apartments he inherited. Wherever he goes people welcome him, he's such a good conversationalist, but he cannot spend the night under a roof he says. When he comes to the shop he wants all kinds of books, buys them and tell us to keep them until he's 'ready'. Sometimes I give them to one of his brothers, sometimes when he comes in I say he can have anything he likes for free, but he always tells me no. Looks at the books, buys them and says to keep them until he's ready. 1. Fluorescent speedos? I had an Italian guy in, from a cruise ship I think, wearing fluorescent speedos underneath his huge hairy belly, leather thong sandals and a man bag dangling from his wrist. Oh and mirror sunglasses. No he wasn't wearing a medallion, but he should have been, it would have completed the look.  He wouldn't wear this in the streets of his home town, why do it to mine?  Actually a better question would be, why was he was out dressed like that at all? (It looks like he has a load of toilet paper wrapped around both his meat and two veg. as well.) The other 'review' of Weird Things Customers say in Bookshops got too full, so this is a new one of weird things customers say or do in my bookshop. Or wear for that matter.

  2. 5 out of 5

    karen

    what's this?? the last souvenir from my bookstore days! i mean, they cleaned it up a little; i am not one who says "sir," and i don't have the pub dates of books in my head at the ready like that, but still! it's like fame, only smaller!

  3. 5 out of 5

    Lily C

    Okay, that's all of my tiny books completed!! Now onto the actual full sized books haha

  4. 5 out of 5

    ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~ ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣

    Q: Not to mention the, quite frankly, amazingly awesome things children say – such as the boy who told me that, when he’s older, he’s going to become a book ninja. I have no idea what a book ninja is, but I want to hire that kid.(c) Q: I have a particular fondness for the person who asked if Anne Frank had written a sequel to her diary. The man laughed and said: ‘You should have told her that she ghostwrote it!’ I think I might love that customer. (c) Q: CUSTOMER: I can see you’ve got books on Wor Q: Not to mention the, quite frankly, amazingly awesome things children say – such as the boy who told me that, when he’s older, he’s going to become a book ninja. I have no idea what a book ninja is, but I want to hire that kid.(c) Q: I have a particular fondness for the person who asked if Anne Frank had written a sequel to her diary. The man laughed and said: ‘You should have told her that she ghostwrote it!’ I think I might love that customer. (c) Q: CUSTOMER: I can see you’ve got books on World War I and World War II. BOOKSELLER: Yes, we do. CUSTOMER: But I can’t find any books on World War III. Where are those? (c) Q: CUSTOMER: I really don’t like the planet today – can you recommend a book set far, far away? (c) Q: CUSTOMER: Can you recommend a book of spells to raise pets from the dead? BOOKSELLER: ... CUSTOMER: Just animals, you understand – not people. I don’t want my husband coming back. (c) Q: CUSTOMER: No, that’s OK. I like to pretend that the books are criminals, and that I’m tracking them down, like I’m the police. It’s more fun that way.(c) Q: CUSTOMER (holding up a book): What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it!(c) Q: CUSTOMER: We’re having a book burning at our religious group tonight. I need all your books on witchcraft. BOOKSELLER: ... CUSTOMER: And, as we’re not going to read them, I expect a discount. We’re doing the world a favour by burning them, you know.(c) Q: WOMAN (holding a copy of a Weight Watchers book in one hand, and The Hunger Games in the other): Which of these dieting books would you recommend most? (c) Q: CUSTOMER: You know, I eat every good book I read. BOOKSELLER: ... Excuse me? CUSTOMER: I like to feel as though the book’s really part of me. So, when I’ve finished, I rip the pages up and put them in my food. (c) Q: CUSTOMER (holding up an art book): Wow. Picasso must have gone out with some really ugly women. (c) Q: BOOKSELLER: ... You know, Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character. CUSTOMER (outraged): ... Are you trying to tell me that I don’t exist?(c) Q: CUSTOMER: I’d like a Christmas book, about Christmas, that doesn’t have anything to do with snow, or robins, or snowmen, or Jesus, or holly. ... And no bloody carols, either! (c) Q: CUSTOMER: I need a really awful book to give to someone I hate. Any recommendations? (c) Q: CUSTOMER: There are several things I look for in a good book. BOOKSELLER: Oh? What are those? CUSTOMER: A murder – preferably of a handsome young man – a helicopter ride, a small dog, a parrot, a suicide, cigars, moustaches, love letters and animals that have escaped from the zoo. BOOKSELLER: ... CUSTOMER: Why aren’t you writing these things down? BOOKSELLER: Sorry (grabs a pen). CUSTOMER: Good. Let’s not forget the mysterious crop circles in the fields. Then there’s the heroine – preferably a redhead from a country house in Wales, who collects fossils in her spare time. Her grandmother should be alive, but only just, and on the weekends she should ride wild horses on the beach. The heroine, that is, not the grandmother.(c) Q: CUSTOMER: You never read about Middle Earth any more, do you? It’s like no one cares about The Shire these days. Stuff must still happen there but it’s never reported in the news.(c) Q: DRUNKEN MAN (looking around in amazement): Dude. Your bookshop is, like, totally moving.(c) Q: CUSTOMER (looking at the history section): I’ve always wanted to be a prisoner of war. ... It sounds romantic, doesn’t it?(c) Q: (Customer holds up Fifty Shades of Grey and shows her boyfriend) CUSTOMER: Babe! It’s the book I was telling you about! My sister reckons it’s exactly like us!(с) Q: CUSTOMER: I’m looking for a book called Not Your Ordinary Average Day in the Park. BOOKSELLER: I’m not familiar with that one. Do you know what it’s about? CUSTOMER: It’s about a boy with autism, and a dog. BOOKSELLER: Do you mean The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time? CUSTOMER: Yes, that’s it. I knew it had a title like that. (c) Q: CUSTOMER: Do you have copies of Fifty Shades of Grey? BOOKSELLER: Yes, they’re right over here. We don’t have any secondhand ones in right now, though. CUSTOMER: Oh, that’s OK. I don’t think I’d WANT a secondhand copy of that book, if you know what I mean! (Customer and bookseller look at each other and burst out laughing) (c) Q: CUSTOMER: If I had a bookstore, I’d make the mystery section really hard to find.(c)

  5. 5 out of 5

    Bookdragon Sean

    I really couldn’t wait very long after finishing the first one before diving into this. These books are so damn funny. This time’s there’s great examples from other book sellers too. Here are my personal favourites in this one: "CUSTOMER (buying a copy of Gulliver’s Travels): I’m thinking of going travelling, so I thought I’d give this a read to give me ideas of places to go. He seems to have gone to some really crazy parts of the world!" (Could you imagine hearing this? I would have wet myself I really couldn’t wait very long after finishing the first one before diving into this. These books are so damn funny. This time’s there’s great examples from other book sellers too. Here are my personal favourites in this one: "CUSTOMER (buying a copy of Gulliver’s Travels): I’m thinking of going travelling, so I thought I’d give this a read to give me ideas of places to go. He seems to have gone to some really crazy parts of the world!" (Could you imagine hearing this? I would have wet myself with laughter. I wonder if he thinks horses can talk too?) "CUSTOMER: I need a really awful book to give to someone I hate. Any recommendations?" (Oh I could think of several……..) "CUSTOMER: Urgh. Shakespeare. He’s everywhere, isn’t he? You can’t escape him. I wish he’d do us all a favour and die already." (Ignorant moron.) So this is another great example of stupid people who know absolutely nothing about books saying some rather hilarious things. It’s as funny as the first book and definitely worth a read.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Foad

    لینک دانلود کتاب کتاب دوم از این نویسنده. ایده ی کتاب خیلی ساده است، ولی نتیجه، خیلی خنده داره. حرف های عجیبی که خریدارها توی کتاب فروشی میزنن. بعضی از این حرف ها به خاطر گفته شدن توی موقعیت کتابفروشی خیلی خنده دار و مضحکن. خريدار: يه كتاب خيلی بد می خوام. می خوام هديه بدمش به يكی كه ازش متنفرم.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Jadranka

    Ova knjiga je kao pisana za mene :D ... i verovatno za 97,36% korisnika Goodreadsa :D I have some issues kada su knjižare u pitanju...npr. imam potrebu da knjige pored kojih prolazim lepo složim i mnogo me nervira kada vidim da neko ispretura knjige ili ih ne vrati na svoje mesto. Dalje, jedva se suzdržim da se ne umešam u priču između knjižara i kupca, kada čujem da knjižar nema pojma o čemu priča, ili kada lupeta neke gluposti. To me mnogo nervira...mislim, čoveče radiš u knjižari, a ne u prodav Ova knjiga je kao pisana za mene :D ... i verovatno za 97,36% korisnika Goodreadsa :D I have some issues kada su knjižare u pitanju...npr. imam potrebu da knjige pored kojih prolazim lepo složim i mnogo me nervira kada vidim da neko ispretura knjige ili ih ne vrati na svoje mesto. Dalje, jedva se suzdržim da se ne umešam u priču između knjižara i kupca, kada čujem da knjižar nema pojma o čemu priča, ili kada lupeta neke gluposti. To me mnogo nervira...mislim, čoveče radiš u knjižari, a ne u prodavnici usisivača. Volim nepoznatim ljudima da preporučujem knjige...ne mogu da uđem u knjižaru a da ne kupim barem jednu knjigu...Ponekad kada naletim na neku knjigu koju tražim duže vreme, ali baš u tom trenutku nemam kod sebe novca da je kupim, ja je ćušnem negde skroz pozadi, kako bih je sakrila od drugih, a sve u nadi da će me sačekati kad se vratim drugi put po nju. Sve u svemu, obožavam knjižare i biblioteke, bibliotekari su za mene superheroji, a najveći san mi je da jednog dana otvorim svoju knjižaru. Ocena:5*

  8. 4 out of 5

    Loederkoningin

    So after the hilarious Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, bookseller Campbell has collected even more weirdness. And although this follow up is not nearly as hilarious as the first book - a few 'jokes' seem a bit far-fetched - there's still more than enough to snort-laugh about. So here we go, shall we! Customer: We're having a book burning at our religious group tonight. I need all your books on witchcraft. Bookseller: ..... Customer: And we're expecting a discount. We're doing the world a fa So after the hilarious Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, bookseller Campbell has collected even more weirdness. And although this follow up is not nearly as hilarious as the first book - a few 'jokes' seem a bit far-fetched - there's still more than enough to snort-laugh about. So here we go, shall we! Customer: We're having a book burning at our religious group tonight. I need all your books on witchcraft. Bookseller: ..... Customer: And we're expecting a discount. We're doing the world a favor by burning them, you know. Customer: (Holding a copy of a Weight Watchers book in one hand, and The Hunger Games in the other) Which of these dieting books would you recommend most? Customer: My Kindle is broken. Do you know how to fix it? Bookseller: I'm afraid Kindles aren't really my specialty. Customer: (pulls her Kindle out of her bag) Look at it! I dropped it in the bath. Bookseller: If you did that with a book, you could just put it on the radiator and then flatten it out between two heavier books. Customer:(seriously) Do you think that would work for this, too? Customer: Do you have a copy of this book but with the title in red, instead of green? And maybe with a different background image too? Bookseller:....No. Customer: I'm looking for this picture book for my daughter. I read about it in a review somewhere. I think it's by someone called E.L. James. Bookseller:Erm, I don't think it was by that person; that's who wrote Fifty Shades of Grey. Customer:(going bright red and clutching her handbag, as though hiding something inside it) Oh! I dont know how the name cropped into my head, then. I've certainly never read any of those books! Never! Customer: (to her friend) What do you do with your books after you've read them? Friend: Sometimes I burn them. Customer: You burn them? Friend: Yeah. If I'm in the mood. What a crazy wonderful world we live in, huh?

  9. 4 out of 5

    María

    LLORANDO con los libros de esta mujer.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Exina

    Like the first book, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, it was a quick and entertaining read. The story in the prologue about a children book getting back to its original owner after forty years is really heartwarming. Conversations with kids are cute and funny, and the rest also made me laugh many times. The things customers say in bookshops are not only weird, but insulting, sometimes ridiculously dumb… CUSTOMER: You know, I go to this book club thing, but I really hate reading. BOOKSELL Like the first book, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, it was a quick and entertaining read. The story in the prologue about a children book getting back to its original owner after forty years is really heartwarming. Conversations with kids are cute and funny, and the rest also made me laugh many times. The things customers say in bookshops are not only weird, but insulting, sometimes ridiculously dumb… CUSTOMER: You know, I go to this book club thing, but I really hate reading. BOOKSELLER: So … why do you go to the book club? CUSTOMER: I don’t know, really. (Pause). To make things easier, I bought a book called How To Talk About Books You Haven’t Read. BOOKSELLER: Yeah? CUSTOMER: Yeah. (Pause). I didn’t read it. … but also can be lovely and hilarious… (Elderly female customer is looking at the chart) CUSTOMER: I can’t believe everybody’s reading this Fifty Shades … BOOKSELLER: I know. I take it it isn’t your cup of tea, then? CUSTOMER: Oh, no dear; been there, done that – no need to read about it! Recommended!

  11. 5 out of 5

    Hamad

    I rarely give 1 star ratings because I know authors put a lot of work to produce a book, I didn't feel that much effort was put into this! And the illustrations were so meh... I mean it was just random things customers say in bookshops, and some things were not weird, I found most not funny at all. I think it was more like Weird things drunk customers say. I even felt there were some things that were said as a part of truth or dare. I used to play this with my colleagues in the hospital and we wo I rarely give 1 star ratings because I know authors put a lot of work to produce a book, I didn't feel that much effort was put into this! And the illustrations were so meh... I mean it was just random things customers say in bookshops, and some things were not weird, I found most not funny at all. I think it was more like Weird things drunk customers say. I even felt there were some things that were said as a part of truth or dare. I used to play this with my colleagues in the hospital and we would say and do the strangest and most stupid things! I don't laugh easily and this further proves this because in 157 pages, I don't believe I laughed once!

  12. 4 out of 5

    Masoud Irannejad

    مجموعه ای از مکالمات طنز و گاها روزمره ای که کتاب فروش ها با خریدارهاشون دارند CUSTOMER: They should make vending machines for books. Then there’d be no more need for bookshops, and you could have a really long holiday. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? گاج خیلی ساله بیرون فروشگاه شعبه خیابان انقلاب وندینگ ماشین گزاشته :))) CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of The Handmaid’s Tale? BOOKSELLER: I’m afraid we sold our copy of that this morning. I can order it in for you, though. CUSTOMER: Can’t you just print a c مجموعه ای از مکالمات طنز و گاها روزمره ای که کتاب فروش ها با خریدارهاشون دارند CUSTOMER: They should make vending machines for books. Then there’d be no more need for bookshops, and you could have a really long holiday. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? گاج خیلی ساله بیرون فروشگاه شعبه خیابان انقلاب وندینگ ماشین گزاشته :))) CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of The Handmaid’s Tale? BOOKSELLER: I’m afraid we sold our copy of that this morning. I can order it in for you, though. CUSTOMER: Can’t you just print a copy for me? From the internet? چرا که نه :))) CUSTOMER: I need a really awful book to give to someone I hate. Any recommendations? کلیییی کتاب میتونم بهت پیشنهاد بدم:))) CUSTOMER (whispers): Sometimes I think my cat is trying to kill me. BOOKSELLER: Oh? CUSTOMER: Only sometimes, though. Not all the time. Sometimes he can be quite nice جدی ؟ این کتاب رو بخون خیلی بهت کمک میکنه :)))) How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You CUSTOMER (looking at the history section): I’ve always wanted to be a prisoner of war. BOOKSELLER: … CUSTOMER: It sounds romantic, doesn’t it? :| معلومه که نه CUSTOMER: If I had a bookstore, I’d make the mystery section really hard to find :))) ایده خیلی باحالی عه

  13. 5 out of 5

    Daniel

    Jos jedna lepa kolekcija bizarnih situacija sa kojima se (ne)srecni prodavci srecu najverovatnije svakodnevno. Meni licno omiljeni delovi su razgovori sa decom (i'l be a bumblebee when i grow up :D ). Zabavno stivo u svakom slucaju, mada ipak ima ogranicenu publiku: ljude koji vole da citaju knjige. Na zalost i nema nas puno :(

  14. 5 out of 5

    Louise Wilson

    In this follow up book to Weird Things People Say In Bookshops we get the same type of comments that are plain stupid, jaw dropping and funny. I enjoyed reading this book as muck as I did the first one. It's another quick read with some illustrations. It's hard to believe that people can be this stupid.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Tamara

    Occupation: Bookseller What You Think You Do: Sell books What People Think You Do: - Book-whisperer CUSTOMER: Hello! I’m searching for a book. I’m not sure of the publishing house, but it’s really great and I just have to read it again. BOOKSELLER: Sure. What was the title of the book? CUSTOMER: Well, the thing is, I don’t really remember … BOOKSELLER: OK, then how about the author? Maybe we can search for their work and find the one you’re looking for? CUSTOMER: I don’t know his name. BOOKSELLER: … R Occupation: Bookseller What You Think You Do: Sell books What People Think You Do: - Book-whisperer CUSTOMER: Hello! I’m searching for a book. I’m not sure of the publishing house, but it’s really great and I just have to read it again. BOOKSELLER: Sure. What was the title of the book? CUSTOMER: Well, the thing is, I don’t really remember … BOOKSELLER: OK, then how about the author? Maybe we can search for their work and find the one you’re looking for? CUSTOMER: I don’t know his name. BOOKSELLER: … Right. CUSTOMER: But he was definitely European. BOOKSELLER: … Ok. CUSTOMER: And it was non-fiction. Some kind of study. Probably. BOOKSELLER: Right. CUSTOMER (looking expectantly at the bookseller): Come on, you must know the book I mean! CUSTOMER: Do you have that book by that guy, the one whose brother is on the radio and has a moustache? I think it’s blue. BOOKSELLER (jokingly): The moustache? CUSTOMER (seriously): No. The book. - Gift Advisor CUSTOMER: I’d like to buy a book for my wife. BOOKSELLER: Sure, what sort of book? CUSTOMER: I don’t know. Something ... pink? Women like pink stuff, right? - Beta Reader CUSTOMER: There are several things I look for in a good book. BOOKSELLER: Oh? What are those? CUSTOMER: A murder – preferably of a handsome young man – a helicopter ride, a small dog, a parrot, a suicide, cigars, moustaches, love letters and animals that have escaped from the zoo. BOOKSELLER: ... CUSTOMER: Why aren’t you writing these things down? BOOKSELLER: Sorry (grabs a pen). CUSTOMER: Good. Let’s not forget the mysterious crop circles in the fields. Then there’s the heroine – preferably a redhead from a country house in Wales, who collects fossils in her spare time. Her grandmother should be alive, but only just, and on the weekends she should ride wild horses on the beach. The heroine, that is, not the grandmother. BOOKSELLER: ... Right. CUSTOMER: Any books spring to mind? BOOKSELLER: No ... It sounds like you should probably write this book yourself, considering you have such specific tastes. CUSTOMER: You know, I rather hoped you might say that. (He pulls a notebook out of his pocket.) I’ve been outlining the story. Would you like to read it? - Magician CUSTOMER: (holding up a paperback) If I buy this book, can I transfer it onto my friend’s Kindle? BOOKSELLER: ... No. CUSTOMER: Oh. How do they put physical books on a Kindle, then? Is it like that part in the film of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, where Mike Teavee wants to become part of television, and he flies over everyone’s heads in tiny little pieces? - Personal Servant (Phone rings) BOOKSELLER: Hello? CUSTOMER: Oh, you’re there! Thank goodness. BOOKSELLER: How can I help? CUSTOMER: I’m making a chicken pie from handwritten instructions, and I can’t read my own handwriting. BOOKSELLER: … Right. CUSTOMER: Could you check the recipe for me? Bookseller: … How? CUSTOMER: Oh! I copied it out of one of the books on the top shelf of your cookery section when I was in last week. I write a new one down whenever I come in – no point in buying the whole book when I can just do that. I was in a hurry last time so my writing’s a mess! BOOKSELLER: … CUSTOMER: I need to know what happens after I add the stock. Could you have a look? It’s the big black book, with gold lettering on the spine. BOOKSELLER: I’m afraid I sold that book earlier today. CUSTOMER: What? But … but I need it! Why didn’t you stop them taking it? CUSTOMER: I want to get my girlfriend a book for her birthday but I don’t know if she already has it. BOOKSELLER: OK. CUSTOMER: Could you find out for me? BOOKSELLER: … How? CUSTOMER: Well, maybe you could call her and say that you’re doing a survey or something? BOOKSELLER: … CUSTOMER: You know, just lie and gain her trust and find out everything you can. - Time Traveller CUSTOMER: Do you have the Stephen King book that comes out next week? BOOKSELLER: … No. - ??? CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Bella Swan’s favourite book? You know, from Twilight? (Bookseller sighs and pulls a copy of Wuthering Heights off the shelf) CUSTOMER: Do you have the one with the cover that looks like Twilight? BOOKSELLER: No. This is an antiquarian bookshop, so this is an old edition of the book. CUSTOMER: But it’s still the one with that girl Cathy and the dangerous guy, right? BOOKSELLER: Yes, it’s still the story by Emily Bronte. CUSTOMER: Right. Do you think they’ll make it into a film? BOOKSELLER: They’ve made several films of it. The one where Ralph Fiennes plays Heathcliff is very good. CUSTOMER: What? Voldemort plays Heathcliff? BOOKSELLER: Well . . . CUSTOMER: But that’s Edward’s role. BOOKSELLER: Wuthering Heights was written well before both Harry Potter and Twilight. CUSTOMER: Yeah, but Voldemort killed Cedric, who’s played by Robert Pattinson, and now Voldemort’s playing Edward’s role in Wuthering Heights, because Edward’s character is Heathcliff. I think that Emily Bronte’s trying to say something about vampires. BOOKSELLER: . . . that’s £8. CUSTOMER: For what? BOOKSELLER: For the book. CUSTOMER: Oh, no, it’s OK, I’m going to go and try and find the Voldemort DVD version. What You Actually Do: Bonus:

  16. 4 out of 5

    MischaS_

    When I finished the first book, I had to start with this one. I'm not going to say which book is better because it's hard to compare. In this one Twilight has a company, the Fifty Shades. I'm still so angry about people who are damaging books and so... For some reason, I think this book was sadder. Sometimes I had a strange feeling in my heart. Like I was really sorry for something those people said. Again, I recommend to everyone to read this! :)

  17. 5 out of 5

    Marga

    "CUSTOMER: I’d like to buy this audiobook. BOOKSELLER: Great. CUSTOMER: Only, I don’t really like this narrator. BOOKSELLER: Oh. CUSTOMER: Do you have a selection of narrator to choose from? Ideally, I’d like Benedict Cumberbatch” I found some hilarious. Some are not though. Are some of these made up? Haha. People are weird. This is my favorite. :DD "CUSTOMER: Can you help me find a book, please? BOOKSELLER: Sure, what are you in the mood for? CUSTOMER: (leaning in very closely) I'm feeling very vulnera "CUSTOMER: I’d like to buy this audiobook. BOOKSELLER: Great. CUSTOMER: Only, I don’t really like this narrator. BOOKSELLER: Oh. CUSTOMER: Do you have a selection of narrator to choose from? Ideally, I’d like Benedict Cumberbatch” I found some hilarious. Some are not though. Are some of these made up? Haha. People are weird. This is my favorite. :DD "CUSTOMER: Can you help me find a book, please? BOOKSELLER: Sure, what are you in the mood for? CUSTOMER: (leaning in very closely) I'm feeling very vulnerable right now."

  18. 4 out of 5

    Sad Sunday (Princess Consuela Bananahammock)

    To: Orient, Caro M. From: YouKnowWho Subject: You were right and have the right to say "I said so" So, as the Subject says, you were right. When you said I just had to try a different genre, I was quite skeptical. What is better than a awesome sword and sorcery fantasy book on a cold evening of autumn while you are snuggled in your warm bed? (I know, Geralt of Rivia in your bed would be better, but anyway...). I tried a different genre and I liked it! Really, "More Weird Things Customers Say in Bo To: Orient, Caro M. From: YouKnowWho Subject: You were right and have the right to say "I said so" So, as the Subject says, you were right. When you said I just had to try a different genre, I was quite skeptical. What is better than a awesome sword and sorcery fantasy book on a cold evening of autumn while you are snuggled in your warm bed? (I know, Geralt of Rivia in your bed would be better, but anyway...). I tried a different genre and I liked it! Really, "More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops" is awesome. Some jokes were really hilarious and I keep remembering them in the most unfunny situations. The one about Anne Frank will haunt me forever, but I just couldn't stop laughing for about ten minutes... And I know, I somehow missed the first book in the series, but I will catch up. So, well, I will try listen to what you both say more. You are wonderful! I am sure, fun stuff awaits me. :O) Sad. Sent from my SuperPhone

  19. 4 out of 5

    Susie

    a pure joy, as to be expected. :)

  20. 5 out of 5

    Rebecca

    Actual Rating: 3.5/5 Fun read. Some made me laugh, others made me question humans because... really?! It was nice to see a familiar bookstore in the second section (aka my local independent bookstore at Westfield.) Source: Alison/readaroundtherosie for Christmas 2014 - thank you!

  21. 4 out of 5

    Sandra

    Well, some days I do feel like this too. CUSTOMER: I really don’t like the planet today – can you recommend a book set far, far away? Now we're talking bestsellers! CUSTOMER (eagerly): I really liked Fifty Shades of Grey. (Pause) Do you have an illustrated version? Even Goodreads Karen had a spot in it! (Phone rings) CUSTOMER: Hello. I’m looking for a first edition of The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. BOOKSELLER: I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t stock secondhand or rare books. CUSTOMER: I don’t w Well, some days I do feel like this too. CUSTOMER: I really don’t like the planet today – can you recommend a book set far, far away? Now we're talking bestsellers! CUSTOMER (eagerly): I really liked Fifty Shades of Grey. (Pause) Do you have an illustrated version? Even Goodreads Karen had a spot in it! (Phone rings) CUSTOMER: Hello. I’m looking for a first edition of The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. BOOKSELLER: I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t stock secondhand or rare books. CUSTOMER: I don’t want a secondhand copy! I want a new one! BOOKSELLER: Sir, the first edition of this book was published in 1926. CUSTOMER: I don’t want one that old! BOOKSELLER: But– (Customer hangs up) Karen T. Brissette: Barnes and Noble, Union Square, New York, USA. Fun book for a quick and entertaining read. Extra: Petra's very own adventures in bookselling.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Laima

    This second book of strange but true things people say in bookshops is just as hilarious as the first. The author has included many more submissions from booksellers and librarians from around the world. Our very own Goodreader, Karen Brissette, submitted an entry which also appears in this edition. This copy is from the U.K, so all of you goodreaders in the U.S. and Canada will have to wait a little while longer before this edition is released in North America. It really is very funny and worth t This second book of strange but true things people say in bookshops is just as hilarious as the first. The author has included many more submissions from booksellers and librarians from around the world. Our very own Goodreader, Karen Brissette, submitted an entry which also appears in this edition. This copy is from the U.K, so all of you goodreaders in the U.S. and Canada will have to wait a little while longer before this edition is released in North America. It really is very funny and worth the wait!!

  23. 5 out of 5

    Tran Thanh Tu

    This one is not as hilarious as the first one, but overall, I enjoy every second of it :D

  24. 4 out of 5

    Coreen (AsThePlotThickens)

    "BOY (reading titles of books on the shelf): My Family and Other Animals? Ha. Yes. I think my sister looks like a ferret. HIS SISTER (shouting from the other side of the shop): I heard that! And you look like a diseased baboon! I think this book was even better than the first one, though I've been hearing others say otherwise. The sequel to the Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores just got even funnier. The quote at the top was my favorite it had me laughing out loud for seconds, as usual "BOY (reading titles of books on the shelf): My Family and Other Animals? Ha. Yes. I think my sister looks like a ferret. HIS SISTER (shouting from the other side of the shop): I heard that! And you look like a diseased baboon! I think this book was even better than the first one, though I've been hearing others say otherwise. The sequel to the Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores just got even funnier. The quote at the top was my favorite it had me laughing out loud for seconds, as usual there were still rude remarks from the customers but it was still short, funny and hilarious. I love it!

  25. 4 out of 5

    Glitterbomb

    CUSTOMER: Do you have Windows 7 for Dummies? BOOKSELLER: Sorry, we're and antiquarian bookshop; nearly everything here predates computers. CUSTOMER: Oh. Do you have any user guides for antiquarian computers? You know from, like, the olden days, when they had swords and stuff? BOOKSELLER: ..... This little book was hysterical. I've always wanted to work in a bookshop or a library, because of, you know.. the books. But now? I want to work in a bookshop/ library so I can witness stuff like this! Serious CUSTOMER: Do you have Windows 7 for Dummies? BOOKSELLER: Sorry, we're and antiquarian bookshop; nearly everything here predates computers. CUSTOMER: Oh. Do you have any user guides for antiquarian computers? You know from, like, the olden days, when they had swords and stuff? BOOKSELLER: ..... This little book was hysterical. I've always wanted to work in a bookshop or a library, because of, you know.. the books. But now? I want to work in a bookshop/ library so I can witness stuff like this! Seriously. Read it. Its 121 pages of WTF?! And everyone needs 121 pages of WTF in their lives.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Souma BookAddict

    People say some stupid things. Not as good as the first one, but still made me chuckle a few times.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Sophie

    "MOTHER: If you want to buy a book you’ll have to use your own money. I’ve bought you enough books already! DAUGHTER: But I’ve read all those books! MOTHER: Well then, maybe you should learn to read slower!" this one sums up my life perfectly..

  28. 5 out of 5

    hayatem

    هذا الجزء لا يقل طرافة عن الجزء الأول . ينفع بالتأكيد كفاصل بين الكتب الثقيلة! اقتباسات: زبون: أريد أن أعيد كتاب أين والي؟ رجاءً. بائعة الكتب : لماذا؟ زبون: لأنني وجدت والي. زبونة: هل بإمكانك أن تتصحيني بكتاب سحري لإعادة بعث الحيوانات الأليفة من الموت؟ بائعة الكتب:..... زبونة: الحيوانات فقط. لا أريد لزوجي أن يعود من الموت. زبون: هل لديكم كتاب يتحدث عن تأسيس دولة ؟ أريد أن أعرف إن كان بإمكاني أن أعلن حديقتي الخلفية دولةً مستقلة. زبون: هل قاموا بإصدار نسخة جديدة من الإنجيل بعد طهور فيلم the passion of the هذا الجزء لا يقل طرافة عن الجزء الأول . ينفع بالتأكيد كفاصل بين الكتب الثقيلة! اقتباسات: زبون: أريد أن أعيد كتاب أين والي؟ رجاءً. بائعة الكتب : لماذا؟ زبون: لأنني وجدت والي. زبونة: هل بإمكانك أن تتصحيني بكتاب سحري لإعادة بعث الحيوانات الأليفة من الموت؟ بائعة الكتب:..... زبونة: الحيوانات فقط. لا أريد لزوجي أن يعود من الموت. زبون: هل لديكم كتاب يتحدث عن تأسيس دولة ؟ أريد أن أعرف إن كان بإمكاني أن أعلن حديقتي الخلفية دولةً مستقلة. زبون: هل قاموا بإصدار نسخة جديدة من الإنجيل بعد طهور فيلم the passion of the Christ؟ أقصد نسخة الإنجيل التي من المفترض أن يضعون على غلافها ثورة ميل غيبسون؟ زبون : هل لديك كتاب يشرح كيفية التعرف على الخونة؟ (بائعة الكتب ترى زبوناً وهو يضع حبة ثوم على أحد رفوف المكتبة.) بائعة الكتب : …، ممم، عذراً مادا تفعل؟ زبون: هذه الكتب تحكي عن مصاصي الدماء. عليّ القيام بأخذ الاحتياطات. زبون : لا أستطيع دفع قيمة الاشتراك بالنادي الرياضي. هل تمانعين إن أتيت إلى المتجر عدة مرات كل أسبوع؟ أريد أن أستخدم كتبكم الثقيلة لتمرين عضلاتي. زبونة: يقولون إن هناك كتاب داخل كل شخص منا، أليس كذلك. بائعة الكتب :… نعم سمعت هذه المقولة من قبل. زبونة: كيف أعثر على كتابي إذن؟ أعتقد أنه يختبئ هرباً مني. بائعة الكتب:… لا أعتقد أنك تستطيعين التعجيل بمثل هذه الأمور . زبونة: ( تتحدث مع نفسها ): أحتاج إلى الخضوع لفحص الأشعة السينية لأعثر على كتابي. رجل: هل لديكم دورة مياه؟ بائعة الكتب : لا، للأسف. رجل: حسناً إذن، سوف أتبول هنا. ( يتبول فعلاً) زبون : ما هو الاسم الأول للكاتب مجهول؟ زبون: هل سمعت أن الأسلحة النووية مجرد أسطورة. زبون: هل لديكم عصا هاري بوتر السحرية ؟ زبون ( يدخل إلى متجر الكتب ويصرخ) : لا تتوقعوا مني شراء أي كتب . أنا لست بقارئ! بائعة الكتب :… زبون: أريد أن أعيد هذا الكتاب الذي يتحدث عن الأشباح . بائعة الكتب: هل هناك مشكلة في الكتاب؟ زبون : نعم. إنه مسكون بالأرواح. زبون: متجركم جميل جداً. بائع الكتب : أوه، شكراً لك. زبون: من المؤسف أنكم وضعتم فيه كل هذه الكتب الشنيعة. زبونة: إن كنت صاحبة متجر كتب ، فسأخفي قسم كتب الغموض وأجعل العثور عليها أمراً صعباً جداً على الزبائن . زبون : أريد أن أدفع ثمن هذه الكتب بواسطة كوبون. بائعة الكتب: … ممم، هذا الكوبون مخصص لبرغر مجاني . زبون : نعم. فكرت في أن كوبون البرغر يساوي قيمة كتابين. أليست هذه نسبة عادلة ؟ زبون: هل سبق لك القراءة من قبل … بائعة الكتب:… زبون: أوه ، لا عليك. يبدو أنك صغيرة في العمر ولا أظنك قد قرأت كتاباً جيداً من قبل. زبون: هل بإمكاني إعادة الكتاب إن مات الشخص الذي اشتريت له هذا الكتاب ؟ زبون: أين أجد كتب الحرب؟ بائعة الكتب : تجدها في قسم كتب التاريخ. وقسم كتب التاريخ لدينا مقسم إلى عدة أقسام، التاريخ البريطاني ، الأوروبي، الأمريكي ،و تاريخ العالم. ماهي الحرب التي تبحث عنها بالضبط؟ زبون: أريد كتاباً يتحدث عن تاريخ الحرب الواقعة الآن بين المستذئبين ومصاصي الدماء. بائعة الكتب :… زبون: أين أجد كتاباً يتحدث عن هذه الحرب؟ زبون: هل لديكم كتاب يعلم كلبي كيف يتحدث الإنجليزية ؟ … أو الفرنسية ؟ زبون: في أي قسم أجد كتباً تتحدث عن طريقة عمل محرك الاحتراق الداخلي، والتي تتناسب مع طفل يبلغ من العمر ثلاث سنوات؟ زبون: هل لديكم كتاب يشرح الحياة؟ بائعة الكتب : لم أفهم قصدك. زبون: لقد ذهبت للتنزه قبل عدة أيام، ورأيت ذئباً. أريد أن أعرف ما معنى هذا. زبون: أبحث عن كتاب يتحدث عن حرب سنة 1066 صديق الزبون: متى كانت هذه الحرب؟ ( أم وطفلها الصغير دخلا إلى المتجر ) فتى ( وهو ينظر من حوله باستغراب) : أمي … هل سافرنا عبر الزمن و عدنا للماضي ؟ زبون: ( يتفحص قسم الكتب التاريخية): لطالما أردت أن أكون سجيناً في حرب. بائعة الكتب : .… زبون: يبدو هذا أمراً رومانسياً، أليس كذلك؟ زبون : هل هذه الكتب مضادة للحرائق؟ بائعة الكتب : .… لا. زبون : ممم، إذن فهي ليست مفيدة أليس كذلك؟ طفل: ما هو أقدم كتاب لديكم؟ بائعة الكتب : لدينا مجموعة من الكتب تعود إلى سنة 1776. طفل: واو … إنها قديمة جداً تقريباً مثل جدتي. فتاة صغيرة : أريد أن ألعب الغميضة هنا. هل لديك كتاب ضخم بإمكاني الاختباء فيه؟ بائعة الكتب : لا أعتقد ذلك، ولكن بإمكانك الاختباء خلف أرفف الكتب. فتاة صغيرة: ولكن … ولكن، أمي قالت إنها تحب الكتب لأنها تضيع فيها حين قراءتها. بائعة الكتب: آها، لا أعتقد أنها قصدت المعنى الذي فهمتيه.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Cik Aini

    After non-stop laugh reading Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, I find the second installment still hilarious! Nice dedication written inside: For bookshop customers, booksellers, librarians, bookworms, book-hoarders, bookworms and librocubicularists (those who like to read in bed). The last one feels like me, though. I particularly like the dialogue between a young boy and a bookseller on a safeguarding dragon: Young Boy: You should put a basement in your bookshop. Bookseller: You think so? Y After non-stop laugh reading Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops, I find the second installment still hilarious! Nice dedication written inside: For bookshop customers, booksellers, librarians, bookworms, book-hoarders, bookworms and librocubicularists (those who like to read in bed). The last one feels like me, though. I particularly like the dialogue between a young boy and a bookseller on a safeguarding dragon: Young Boy: You should put a basement in your bookshop. Bookseller: You think so? Young Boy: Yeah. And then you could keep a dragon in it, and he could look after the books for you when you're not here. Bookseller: That's pretty cool idea. Dragons breathe fire, though. Do you think he might accidentally burn the books? Young Boy: He might, but you could get one who'd passed a test in bookshop-guarding. Then, you'd be OK Bookseller: You know, I think you're on to something here. ** Customer: Do you have any cards? Bookseller: We have some old postcards in a box by the door. Some of them have already been written on, though. Customer: Oh, that's OK. Do you have one that says, 'To Juliet, with love from Christine'? It would save me writing it out again, you know. ** Customer: We're having a book burning at our religious group tonight. I need all your books on witchcraft. Bookseller: ... Customer: And, as we're not going to read them, I expect a discount. We're doing the world a favour by burning them, you know. ** Woman: (holding a book of Weight Watchers book in one hand, and The Hunger Games in the other) Which of these dieting books would you recommend most? ** Customer: Pride and Prejudice was published a long time ago, right? Bookseller: Yep Customer: I thought so. Colin Firth's looking really good for his age, then. ** But this one tops the most: (A man runs through the door, out of breath) Man: Hi. My friends and I were playing cricket in the park and it's started raining. (Man looks at the bookseller expectantly) Bookseller: ...? Man (impatiently): Well, I was wondering if we could finish our game in your bookshop? Bookseller: ...You want to play cricket..in the bookshop? Man: Yeah! Bookseller: (glancing around at the tiny shop, crammed full of books) Erm, there's really no room at all. Man: Well, we only need one aisle between the shelves, really. And we could always move the bookcases. Bookseller: ...I'm going to say no. It would be dangerous, and I don't think the other customers would like it. Man: Oh, come on. They could cheerlead or something. Bookseller: ...No. Man: And you could be the umpire. Bookseller: ...No. Man: I promise we wouldn't break too many things. Bookseller: ...No.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Tfitoby

    Jen Campbell is back with another collection of truly bizarre things that people say in bookshops. And this time I am in it! Page 73 for those of you who care. You may also find my former colleague Chloe in there a couple of times. Just pop in and I'll happily sign it for you. I got mine for free so you should really make sure you buy yours. It's quite amazing the things that people say without thinking, without knowing what they are saying, without realising just how rude they are or in the case Jen Campbell is back with another collection of truly bizarre things that people say in bookshops. And this time I am in it! Page 73 for those of you who care. You may also find my former colleague Chloe in there a couple of times. Just pop in and I'll happily sign it for you. I got mine for free so you should really make sure you buy yours. It's quite amazing the things that people say without thinking, without knowing what they are saying, without realising just how rude they are or in the case of some of the children how cute they are. Me being in the book aside this is a weaker collection of anecdotes with a larger percentage of them focussed on the witty comebacks from your put upon book seller rather than actual weird things that customers say in bookshops. Divided in to things said to the author, things said in bookshops (and libraries) around the world and things said to the author whilst signing copies of her previous collection this one could certainly have had subsections on "weird things people say about 50 Shades of Grey," "weird things people say who have ereaders" and "kids say the weirdest things."

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